Relationships can be positive and life-changing but they can be traumatic too if a partner isn’t able to deal with their personal insecurities and put their beloved at the receiving end of their unwarranted criticism, bad temper and restrictive behaviour. Secure partners on the other hand can make you feel loved, independent and respected at the same time as they are confident of what they are and focus on a bigger and happier picture of their life. Life can sometimes be tough for some people and make one feel less confident. Whether this is in their personal or professional lives or even within the relationship, insecurity can damage the emotional bond between partners and lead to serious issues. What makes it a bigger concern in some cases, is when one partner is insecure about the other. This further grows into jealousy, spite and negative emotions. Controlling this early on before the insecurity gets bigger is absolutely essential to keep the relationship happy and healthy. (Also read: What do men look for in their partner? Relationship experts answer, bust myths)
Sybil Shiddell, Country Manager India for Gleeden – an extramarital dating app shares signs your partner is feeling insecure and what you can do about it.
1. Lack of independent social life
When two people are together for most of the time, a little space and alone time is a must to get a break. If you notice your partner is always tagging along with you or does not want to pursue any other social plans without you, it is a huge sign that they are insecure.
Insecurity in a relationship comes when one partner feels inferior to the other and thinks they might lose them. Jealousy is a common action in such cases and a major indicator that your partner does not feel secure in the relationship.
3. Playing the victim card
During arguments or just a conversation, your partner happens to put the entire blame on you and plays the victim there are often in need of attention. This could be a natural trait or a personality they picked up on while growing up. Irrespective, this sign is not healthy for a relationship.
4. No personal space
Despite telling them that you require some time alone if your partner does not give you any personal space, it clearly means that they want to constantly be around you and are afraid of losing you.
5. Cannot handle criticism.
Insecure people tend to react loudly when criticised. This could be constructive criticism or an opinion you are sharing. If it is remotely about them, a massive fight is coming your way.
6. Snaps back often
Immaturity often tags along with an insecure person. They don’t seem to see the other perspective and only want everything to cater to them almost like being self-centred. Arguing and snapping back is common in such cases.
7. Needs Re-assurance
No matter how many times you try to tell them that you love them or that they are safe with you, your partner keeps needing reassurance on their status with you. This can become extremely exhausting and even disrespectful for some.
8. Apologizing for small things
Relationships often have arguments and misunderstandings but over-apologising and creating situations out of nothing can start to look extremely irritating. You may notice that your partner is constantly looking to make sure they don’t hurt you in any way and instead end up making you feel even more conscious.
9. Comparing every move
In case both partners are at different stages of life, professionally, one may feel like they have to keep up and the exhaustion from this can lead to major insecurity and low self-esteem.
Constant overthinking about the same subject and making assumptions about how they are feeling or what you said is everything an insecure person does.
“When a partner is feeling insecure, it is important to empathise and understand where they are coming from. Relationships are built together and only when both willingly and maturely handle ups and downs is what really matters. In terms of a partner feeling insecure, calmly handling the situation and strong communication is the best way to realign the relationship. However, if things get worse, know that one person alone cannot handle the baggage of the relationship and everyone deserves a secure and safe loving relationship,” says Sybil.